Self-Love: A transformative journey of personal growth

February is the month we associate with love, valentines day etc.  Though for me, I like to take February as a reminder to explore the most important relationship, the one we have with ourselves.  Therefore the theme I am working with throughout February is ‘Embracing self-love.’  This is a theme that extends far beyond a single month—it’s a continuous journey that shapes how we interact with ourselves and others every day. Join me as I delve into the transformative power of self-love and its profound impact on personal growth and vitality.


My Journey to Self-Love

Embracing self-love began  for me nine years ago, and it’s been a deep experience of emotional growth and self-discovery. I can still recall the the pivotal moment in 2015 when a simple task during a coaching program—writing a love letter to myself— highlighted to me that there was work to be done in terms of the relationship I have with myself. 

I realised that I didn’t even have a concept of self-love. The discovery was pretty shocking to me at the time.  I’ve always been someone who has looked after myself physically with nutritious and nourishing foods, exercise and yoga.  This experience was a huge turning point for me as I realised that my lack of self-love at a deep level was having an influence on other areas of my life.

I had a total lack of boundaries, putting everyone else first and this was one of the main contributing factors to the burnout I experienced in the early years of my son’s life.

Since this eye opening moment, I’ve embarked on a new leg of my self-discovery journey, unravelling old patterns and beliefs to cultivate a deeper sense of self-love.  It takes time, awareness and lots of compassion for all parts of myself.


The wisdom of Rumi

I came across a quote from the Sufi Poet Rumi, which sums it up beautifully:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it and embrace them all” 

I realised that as a form of protection I had been keeping love at arms length, even though I was surrounded by people who loved and cared for me.  I wasn’t allowing myself for fully receive their love and I wasn’t offering love to myself.  The task of having to write a love letter to myself revealed to me the barriers that I hadn’t noticed I had built.


The power of compassion

At first a part of me was annoyed and frustrated at myself that I couldn’t write the love letter. This caused me to realise that I was always telling myself off and never acknowledging all of the good that I was doing.  I began to get curious about the way I was speaking to myself and how this created barriers and blocks to self-love.  Learning to offer compassion and understanding as to why I had unconsciously put these in place has had a profound affect on my life.


The inner voice: Choosing which to listen to

I discovered that I had the power to take a step back and notice the internal dialogue that was going on.  We are wired for survival and have a very powerful inner protector that attempts to keep us safe by keeping us stuck in old patterns.  My inner protector was attempting to keep me safe from rejection, not allowing love in and also feeling like I wasn’t good enough on some level.  It is exhausting having a tape loop of fear going on in the mind.  Understanding that I am not my mind and have the power to choose my thoughts has been a gamechanger.


I invite you to reflect on your own internal dialogue. How do you speak to yourself? What is the predominant narrative and tone of your inner voice? This self-awareness can be illuminating, offering opportunities for growth and self-compassion.


So much has changed for me since I’ve begun reframing my internal dialogue with kindness and love and it takes daily practise, this is an ongoing process.  


Connecting into this theme of ’embracing self-love’ is really what my life and work are about.  Every month I run a Qoya Inspired Movement class where you are invited to move your body and explore a theme and this month I’ve chosen ‘the voice of love within’ as the theme we will be connecting into through music and movement. 


I would love for you to join me  for Qoya on Sunday 18th February 09.30-11.20 live on Zoom. You can click here to book your place.


Self-Love – A lifelong journey

Embracing self-love is a journey—one that requires patience, self-awareness, and daily acts of nurturing.  I invite you to join me on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Together, let’s cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and vitality in our lives.  If anything I have written here resonates with you then I would love to here from you.  Contact me here.

If you haven’t signed up for my bi-weekly nurture notes with musings and tips on how to nurture your vitality as well as updates on courses, events then you can do so by clicking here.

I believe love is the greatest force in the universe and the key to unlocking it starts with a willingness to truly love and accept all parts of yourself.

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